Jive Talking

And so the Bee Gees will be making an appearance on SCD. That will get people switching over from the X Factor then.

So let's talk about jiving now. If I thought that the pasos would bring a multiple pile up to Strictly, I am not sure what Saturday's jiving will entail. Gridlock, maybe?

Please, please, please, Ricky and Erin and Chris and Ola - the responsibility for bringing some sense of dance back from the brink of "disarster darling" lies entirely with you. Don't let us down!

First up Zoe and James - who have yet to tackle a fast dance. In fact their foxtrot was about double the speed of their paso, and Zoe has gone wrong a couple of times when let loose from hold. She covered it well in the paso, but as the tempo of that dance made snails look like speedy little so and sos (as an aside, can you tell I am missing Arlene?), it doesn't follow that she will be able to cover any errors in a fast latin.

Zoe also seemed to be coming across as slightly negative in her VT which doesn't bode well. She can't be much of a fan as she would have figured out that talk of nerves plus self doubt multiplied by perception of over marking, add a dollop of whining equals Zoe Ball or Emma Bunton or Lisa Snowdon in the public's voting patterns. Not looking good for these two, although I hope to be surprised.

Joe and Kristina. I had such high hopes for this partnership when it was announced, but week upon week they just haven't delivered. From the training clip showed, it looks as though even Kristina is fed up with the situation. As she put it "It's an old joke already".

Oh no - have just realised I have missed out Ali and Brian's jive from the above imprecation to Chris and Ricky. Shows just how big an impression they are making on me. It's looking technically very tricky and will probably be quite accomplished. But maybe Brian could try easing up on the difficulty level of the choreography just slightly, so that Ali could project some fun, rather than just nobly trying to keep up with the routine?

Anyway, back to the car crashes. So Flavia is trying a new tactic this week. She is letting Craig choreograph a whole 24 beats himself. Flavia have you really thought this one through? Because I can see a whole raft of problems ahead. Why don't you just come out in a dress with Joe Calzaghe's number embroidered on the back of it if you want to exit the competition that badly? Or maybe she has figured that as he has blanked out her choreography in pretty much every dance they have attempted so far, she might just as well plan for him to go off and do his own thing. Anyway, I am hoping against hope that he can pull off a half decent performance, if only for the sake of my poor cushion which gets squeezed and mauled out of all recognisable shape as I feel every second of Craig's dancing pain.

Anton and Laila. We could be in for something resembling Fiona Phillips' jive. And that is just Anton. Seriously, I don't think I have ever seen such poor training footage in a long time, and Laila is beating herself up about her lack of ability, when actually Anton is as much to blame. And I think I preferred the subdued, hair shirt wearing du Beke from last week actually. I think Joe C may have company at the bottom of the leaderboard.

I did actually breathe a sigh of relief that Jo Wood and Brendan would be doing the VW instead of the jive. But then I heard her describe it as a very "twizzly, twizzly, skippy dance" and I just started thinking poor Brendan. I had to laugh though when she ended her soundbite with "As if I am not dizzy enough already". Bless. I reckon she has another couple of weeks left in the competition and that the public will tire of Joe C before they tire of her.

I usually glaze over when the geeky statistician comes on, but there were a couple of interesting points in what he had to say this time round. Proof of grade inflation as the series have progressed was there for us all to see tonight. The "Best ever dance on Strictly - ever" (Trademark) performed by St Jill of the Halfpenny, scored only a .5 average above Gethin's safe, flat-footed, well choreographed but incredibly simple effort (performed at a much later stage of the competition).

And it was interesting to see Jill and Kelly's jive costumes side by side for the first time. Su Judd had previously commented that Kelly had had a lot of input into her jive costume, and I bet she did, the little minx! Same hairstyle as Jill, same shade of shocking pink - but Kelly's costume had more cleavage and distinctly less of everything else! Tighter, shorter, indeed I have worn larger underpants! The subliminal message was finally clear - I can beat that Jill at her own game, and as for sex - take a look at this!

Interesting interview with Jade and Ian, in which Jade was portrayed as vulnerable and very humble. She actually described seeing Ian and Camilla dance as a humbling experience, but she also seemed to have been very inspired by it. She said that watching Ian and Camilla dance was the moment when it clicked for her that performance was every bit as important as dancing, and that realisation certainly paid off for her in the (undermarked) salsa. The girl is being given a journey story!

This weekend will be a very interesting weekend actually. I have a suspicion that most of the public vote is going (unusually) to the mid tablers, with the Joes ranking after that, then the high scorers, then the "falling through the cracks". With only Craig left in the latter category (and he might just swing a better performance plus sympathy vote one week reprieve from the dance off), we will see exactly who is lacking in the vote department.

My hunch is that Ali and Brian are not that popular in the voting, but pulling in a few more than Zoe, Laila and Jade. Interesting to see that yesterday's ITT spent a long time with Laila and Jade - managing some pretty low expectations for Laila's jive, and painting Jade in a far more sympathetic light than previously. Is this a little hint of who may be bottom of the viewer votes?