Tess looked like a vampire's victim, hair scraped back, neck bared in preparation, Flavia has a cape to make her resemble Batwoman, Ola was a saucy devil in an Ann Summer special, Erin turned up in a shroud draped as a dress, Phil Tufnell was Count Dracula, and Natalie Cassidy was straight out of Rocky Horror. Seriously, why can't wardrobe dress her appropriately?
NatCass and her Italian Stallion were first up with a frenetic jive. They really are one of the few couples to give good value on their VTs with Vincent declaiming "I am not just a fantasy, I am the real thing!". Bless.
Their actual dance was so much better than the training footage, and Natalie gave it her all for the first 45 seconds. It was high energy, high impact, and great entertainment, but it was a jive of two halves, (I guess that level of energy is hard to sustain) and the second half felt a little flat, and the end was a bit of a damp squib. Natalie completely failed to point her feet, and I was amazed that none of the judges picked up on her attempts to kick an imaginary football. 30 seemed a tad over generous, but I was pleased for the girl, and judging from the reaction in the Tesspit, so were most of her fellow celebs.
Barbie and Ken - beautiful dress, beautiful arm placements, beautiful spinning, beautiful shaping. But it was all a bit vanilla and lacked any sort of attack or purpose until the splits at the end. If I didn't know that Ali was an actress, I would not guess it from her performance on SCD. They both telegraphed a mistake with their faces, but even watching it back, I cannot see the mistake, and this has happened before - they go wrong, and their faces shout the story out loud and clear. They both need to stop doing this. I know a stubbed toe can be painful, but the injury seemed to be milked a bit, and I hated Craig being so understanding. He gave Tuffers no slack the week after he had had a knee operation, so why all the consideration for Ali. I was also confused by Brian's comment about missing a day of training due to the injury, when the toe incident was clearly shown happening in dress rehearsal.
The Blackpool Bandwagon rolled into the station next, complete with extra carriages. The birthday boy, Matt di Angelo helping out in training (subtext Mavia fanatics, get your votes in) and Lennox Lewis popped by to the training room, for some inexplicable reason, as his connection with Craig was never clarified. With all the voter pulling boxes ticked, the dance itself was hardly going to matter, but just in case anyone had missed the point, they danced to "Don't let the sun go down on me". I didn't pay much attention to the dance itself, as I was completely distracted by the oversized cape attached to Flavia. She seems such a self-effacing person as well, but boy, has she upset the wardrobe department this year.
Next up were Team Cola, and if anyone thought Ola's catsuit from Series 6 was outre, here was the same design, but in saucy red lace. Boyfriend remarked that witht that outfit, there was no need for pencil sharpening (!), and watched with a rapturous grin on his face, and a dreamy expression in the eyes. I thought it was all a bit disco cha cha, and lacked hip action, but there is no way that Team Cola are going home any time soon. This couple have branding and their own merchandise, helpfully modelled in the VT by the football hero Mr Hollins senior, and if I could, I too would be sporting a yeah baby T shirt, in the vain hope of looking like Ola's older sister.
Alesha decided to tempt fate and risk melt down on the internet by opining that she wished she could tape Chris's mouth shut. Alesha, my dear, there are very many people who have been thinking the same thing about you for the past seven weeks (and I spent about a tenner voting for you two years ago, and have even bought Breathe Slow, so consider myself a fan!)
Long jump Jade and Long Tall Ian were not sabotaged by VT this week, in fact they benefited from a nice, fluffy VT, aimed at getting the granny vote in. The producers haven't earmarked them for shock dance off/shock exit this week then. Jade looked gorgeous (dress of the night for me) and the foxtrot was a joy to behold. I spotted some gapping but nothing too horrendous, and Jade even seems to be emulating Ian's legendary facial expressions. Lovely dance, and well deserved marks. I wish Jade were more popular with the public, because she is improving in leaps and bounds technically, and is one of the few top dancers to actually sell the performance. I would so like Ian to have a shot at the trophy this year!
The lady and the tramp - with Zoe accessorised with a dead bird in her hair. Bizarre. Oh hell, James has choreographed a disco samba, with a horrible bump and grind move, that Zoe was clearly finding excruciating, included not once, but three times. James, your choreography needs some inspiration, and you better find your mojo if you are back next season! There was no bounce, no hip action, and no sense of carnival, so naturally the judges raved, and marked it 32.....Oh dear, I think we all know who the shock exit is going to be tonight.
Well Erin usually makes one choreographic blunder per series, and this was definitely it tonight. How can someone who normally gets it spot on have such abysmal lapses? I am just relieved that she has got her choreo nightmare out of the way before it really counts this year, although I can see the reasoning behind the James Bond themed rumba. This is one of Ricky's dances that I won't be watching back later this week.
The ensuing 8 from Len was absolutely ridiculous, and almost caused me to start throwing things at the screen. The Len/Craig fight seemed awfully pre-arranged, and predictable though.
Charm and smarm failed to live up to Anton's build up and looked rather crestfallen as a result. It was a lovely Viennese Waltz, very classic, very pure, but lacked wow factor. This is another pro who needs to up his game choreographically. Anton has been churning out traditional ballroom routines all series, which would be great in a medal test, but on SCD, the audience needs a hook to get them involved in the routine, and Anton keeps missing the mark with this. With the judges choosing to highlight Laila's weaknesses in latin, I am beginning to suspect that they want this couple gone, and gone within the next couple of weeks. With the paso at Blackpool, their wish could well come true.
Tuffers and the Kat were up next with a VT that veered from comedy (Phil proclaiming that "Rear of the year is just around the corner") to extreme frustration, with Katya trying to goad Phil into upping his game. I sense that this couple are really not clicking, and Katya just doesn't know what to do with someone as lazy and laid back as Tuffers. I do think that he has decided to take it a bit more seriously now that the cannon fodder are out of the way, because he will not want to risk being bottom of the leaderboard. It was a good tango, spoiled by his manic grinning at the end, but a definite sign that he has woken up and started competing. Few more hours in the training room, and less at the pub, and he could be a real contender for at least the semi final, partly on merit, as well as popularity.
Adonis and Blonde Ambition - finally the dance of the series so far, and I wouldn't have thought that a 40 would have been out of the question. Wow. Just wow.
Some lovely pro dances, featuring the divine Mr C, and I thought at first that they had exhumed Andy Williams again, but closer inspection revealed the Bee Gees.
So the dance off, and everyone faked shock and horror at Ali and Brian and Zoe and James being there. Even Tess opined with her faux serious look "That no-one expected to see these two cooooples in the dance off". Well, Tess, the producers like their big shocks, and with everyone, including you, jumping on the get Craig to Blackpool Bandwagon, the viewing public were only acting on instructions. If Craig wasn't going to be in the dance off, someone else was, and tonight we had further proof that the top of the table are really struggling for viewer support - Zoe, Jade and Ali have all had massive falls from 3rd or 4th place on the board to the dance off, and it was only a matter of time, before two of the teachers' pets were going to be facing each other in the dreaded dance off. The judges overmarking and inability to avoid ties isn't helping either (with marks ranging from 24 to 39 tonight, it surely can't have been that difficult to get 10 couples properly differentiated?).
So bye bye James and Zoe, gracious in defeat, but is James ever going to get past the half way mark with his partner?
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