Saved by the spots...

From the saccharine overdose that would have been the Twee-fest rumba. Such a shame that Jared couldn’t dance the weekend his family flew out to see him though. Surely the powers that be could have let him have a go with another pro, whilst Tina is recovering from chicken pox. I hear Lilia is free on a Saturday evening at the moment.

I must be mellowing, because I actually found one of Bruce’s jokes funny, and laughed out loud when he invoked “Goodman – Len Goodman – double oh SEVEN!”. Got to be his best joke in all 8 series so far.

The beautiful onesKara is such a gorgeous dancer, and I am glad that she is not being over praised with the type of hyperbole that did for Emma Bunton and Ali Bastian. Also glad that the producers are not pushing the storyline of “this is the girl that sleeps with her co-stars”. I would have preferred to have seen much more quickstep and much less “faffing around”. Obviously the cartwheel in long dress and high heels was a triumph but I just can’t get the mental image of Craig doing a cartwheel in high heels out of my head now. Not good.

Vinthent and his flethible friendBest line of the night so far – “I didn’t say he was a stallion, I said he was Italian” (even though it was probably contrived). This looked to be a stunning leap forward for Felicity, but actually it was Vincent very cleverly realising that her amazing bendiness would create some wow moments. There was actually very little rumba in there, more a succession of athletic poses interspersed with some acting. Her arms and hands still need a lot of work, but at least her hips were moving, and she seemed to convey an air of slight vulnerability, which suited the song choice perfectly. I did, however, need a bucket for the end of the song when a twee rainbow was lit up at the end of the stage.

The serial bride and her new best friendPoor Patsy! Out of time at the very beginning (but at least she is confident about being out of hold, and selling the routine), and struggling to keep up with a fast and furious number that was way too complicated for her current ability level. What was Robin thinking of? Shows his inexperience that he choreographed a routine that relied so heavily on her hitting the first beat when out of hold and not able to see him. She recovered quickly though, and her timing does seem to be generally quite good.

The magician and her assistant.
Oh dear Ola is wearing clothes. She really is fed up and wants to go home. Not that I can blame her. More magic tricks (yawn) but at least there was some humour, and a bit of a story line. She had choreographed a suitable rumba for his level, and didn’t give into the temptation to outdance him. And to think, until last year, I didn’t rate Ola at all. How wrong could I have been!

Country boy and the scarlet womanMatt continues to impress me, and his frame was excellent throughout. I thought the beginning was over-gimmicky and unnecessary, and I suspect that they went wrong in the middle, but overall pretty good. Have no idea why Len chose to blow a gasket at the faffing about in their dance, when he chose to ignore the amount of faffing in Kara and Artem’s. Can only surmise that he doesn’t rate Aliona and is laying down the law with her in the hope that her choreography improves this series.

GavBot and KatBotOh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I really can’t work out whether Gavin is vain, insecure or totally unaware of how he comes across. The interviews after he had danced are always more entertaining than the dance themselves.

ScottalieBest choice of music since Erin snaffled Chim Chim Cheree for her AS last series. Proper quickstep, great music, bouncing with personality and humour. Looks like Natalie has finally taken on board some lessons from last year.

Sour puss and a heroGiven that Brendan had heard of his father’s death shortly before the live show, but had decided to dance anyway, so as not to let his partner down, the sour puss could have found it in her to show some interest in the dance. Instead she chewed wasps throughout and allowed Brendan to manoeuvre her from one awkward pose into the next, her hips welded into straight mode, and her shoulders masquerading as ear rings. Bad show Michelle.

Shilts and Miss WhiplashLovely, original dress for Erin, always the best dressed pro, and a classic quickstep that made him look as good as was possible. Ploddy, but a dance that he can hold his head up about, and erase the memory of last week’s salsa.

The giggle twinsI am starting to feel a bit let down by this couple. I had such high hopes for them. I still love their partnership, but wish that he was starting to show some improvement. His hips move and his shoulders move, but it seems as though they are moving at odds to each other, instead of complementing each other. Very strange hands going on as well.

WiddibekeHoving regally into view, listing proudly to starboard, here comes the Ark Royal. At least we can be sure that she is not holed below the waterline. But what is this – frivolity with a feather boa? An outfit that threatens to flatter? An attempt at keeping up with at least a few of the steps in the routine? Surely not. I am hoping that the audience tire of the joke pretty soon though. Anne’s assumption that we will vote her in to witness the Charleston, has none of the charm and spontaneity of John Sergeant slying saying “The audience will keep me in”, and sooner or later we will lose a good dancer to prolong a joke that is already wearing thin.

PamJamSublime! She has beautiful expression, great turns, and lovely arms. She poured her heart and soul into the rumba, and really moved me. Fantastically well played by James.

And so to the results show – a clappy happy Charleston, a strictly meets bondage tango, a diabolical performance by Peter Andre, and a lewd, crude parting joke from Paul Daniels. Not really worth half an hour of TV, but at least the first of the jokers has been dropped from the pack.