Predictions, predictions, predictions

Top of the leaderboard

Jade and Ian

Over marked and a tie - Ali and Brian; Ricky and Natalie

Phil and Katya

Tie - Natalie and Vincent and Ricky and Erin

Team Cola (no!!!!)

Laila and Anton

Dance off - Laila and Anton/versus Natalie and Vincent/Ali and Brian

If there is a God or a Goddess...

I had such a good dream last night

I was a professional dancer on SCD. And I was dancing with Tuffers. And we had naughty shenanigans...Oh yes and we won the glitterball.

Suffice to say, I have spent the day having little fantasies in my pea-sized brain about the salsa, the rumba, the AS, the tango, the AT, the winning showdance, the shenanigans. I really have had such a nice day!

Back down to earth. Poor Bruce. It has to be bad for him to miss Strictly. But we get Claudia let loose on the main show (producers take note......Claudia can interview, have empathy, and wreak havoc, all in the same sentence. Tess can....Tess can wear some of the dresses that wardrobe gives her?. Oh heck, Tess is main presenter, and Claude is back stage. Ho Hum). Am starting to have a few thoughts about the opening dance. Maybe I will tune in five minutes late tomorrow.

So we have Adonis and Blonde Ambition...is it really necessary for Ricky Nipple to flash his chest at me at 6.30 on a Friday? I haven't even had a glass of wine yet. So the jive is going to be a fast dance. I wouldnt't have figured that (Zoe and James didn't do fast). And Ricky is playing the relative visiting from afar card. Jive isn't looking promising then.

So Friday Panel.....

Fly me to the Moon....Phil you can fly me there whenever you like. Looking good but still waiting for him to pull away from the crowd and get there....You would if you were partnered with me Phil, believe me!

Team Cola - surely some mistake - dancing a paso to some escapee from the X Factor Rock Week. Surely not. Even catsuits and capes might not save this.

Jade and Ian - I have been waiting all series for this tango! Duran Duran bothers me, but then again look what a Bond theme did for Ramps and Karen in their semi final, which probably remains my second favourite dance (favourite dance? do you have to ask? The Halfpenny Jive of course!).

Nat Cass - Magic Moments - saccharine overdose then. What are they doing this week? First off, Vincenzo appears with his little son at the start of ITT, giving an unfortunate reminder of his shenanigans (alleged) earlier this year (and giving me more cause to fantasise about my shenanigans...such a shame Wife Swap has been cancelled). Then last night NatCass was talking about lovely Matt di Angelo...my trigonometry has never been good, but I am confused with these circles and triangles and goodness knows whats! And as for that shot of NatCass in her flat with a pile of Italian language materials....was this swift response to the negative reaction to her taking the P out of Vincent for his grasp of English....Because I have that dictionary, I bought it for my degree in Italian, and those 6 volumes of grammar volumes, still pristine...I don't think so! The accent may have been good, but the Italian did not make any sense, was basic, and riddled with errors.....

Moving on - oh it's the original dad dancing the rumba. And to Mattesha's victory song - what a travesty! Please let them be bottom two.

Can Ali really do wild?

Oh my little Chris - sent out in the cold to do cape practice but ends up playing super heroes with James Jordan. How many people (apart from my mother) still use the word "tinkle" when going for their pre-performance doings?

Leave the best music of the week till last - of course classy Erin has chosen Nights in White Satin for a Viennese....

I'm cream crackereted.....

...il mio poverino Vincenzo! Forza, caro, parli l'inglese in modo perfetto, molto meglio che la gente ad ITT potra parlare l'italiano! But it was my favourite Vincentism since "shaking like a leaflette". Hm, Vincent is actually better at expressing himself in his second language, English, than certain other people are in their first language ("You was mesmerising", anyone?).

Looking forward to Jade's tango dress. My favourite ever tango dress (and tango of course) was Zoe Ball, but this looks as though it could be challenger for the title. "Boudoir meets ballroom" indeed! Loved Darren B's comment about the men just being accessories for the girls though....

So Laila is sticking with the fringing to hide a multitude of sins against latin dance. As the dress designer said, the dresses can either be passionate and seductive, or more elegant and romantic, and it is rather obvious that Anton and Laila are going for the latter (I would not want to see passionate and seductive from those two!)

I am looking forward with eager anticipation to Jade and Ian's tango. Ian can choreograph amazing tangos, and I think that this dance will really suit the dynamics of their partnership. Top of the leaderboard? There are quite a few people who may struggle this week with dances that may not suit them - ie Brian and Ali with cha cha cha, Ricky and Natalie with jive, and Team Cola with a paso (allegedly to the Darkness), not to mention Laila and Anton with the rumba...so there could be a vacancy at the top of the board. (There could even be a vacancy in second place if Tuffers can pull of a smooth Smooth......), and I think Ricky Groves could have a week off from the bottom of the board.

Ian has come out of the closet and said it - after all this time! They want to be in the final badly. You go Jadian! (Although the accompanying VT did dwell on Jade kicking Ian into touch on the fitness front...so who knows how the public will receive the feisty tango).

Such a successful salsa that they wanted to see it again

Well I am glad that it was Ricky Groves attempting that sentence, not Vincent.

Erin seemed somewhat subdued tonight, definitely as though the honeymoon is really over. Mind you, they are down to the last 8 couples, with the real donkeys gone just as Phil and Chris (Ricky's nearest rivals) seem about to break away from the mid table pack, and just as Ricky seems to have levelled off. The reality is that she is probably running low on quirky choreography (I won't call it gimmicks, because Erin is far too classy to resort to gimmicks!) and the end is nigh. They may well outlast Laila and or Natalie which could just about be justified, but should they knock out Jade or Ali, she knows that the ranks of Craig Kelly/John Sergeant/Kate Garraway beckon.

Poor Erin, deprived of the trophy in SCD3 by the public's attachment to Darren "I am just a blokey bloke from Barnsley, me" Gough (we won't mention the puppet dance), and deprived of a place in the semis by the judges' inexplicable preferance for Lisa, she then had to witness the semi final debacle last year, with all couples going through, and then the Adventures in Bacofoil travesty that was Lisa and Brendan's showdance. I really think this is going to be her last series, what with the producers's penchant for importing leggy long blondes, two of whom (Natalie and Katya look set for at least the quarter finals), and her professional partner's idiocy earlier this series. Flavia and Vincent and now Natalie and Ian are real challengers to the throne of ballroom royalty, and redundancy cannot be far off.

Once again, Karen Hardy was articulate and charming, and had some good points to make about dances such as the foxtrot and quickstep being perfect for a big ballroom like Blackpool, whereas the salsa's real home is a smoky night club, so trying to make a salsa work on a stage the scale of Blackpool makes it lose its essence.

Oh no family filler - let's move on quick! Actually, it is Anton and Laila on next, so let's linger. So we learned that NatCass cannot sing, Ricky G's mum found out about his stint on Strictly from his neighbour's paper, and Laila dresses like Sonia from Eastenders in her own time. Bless.

So to Charm and Smarm - whingeing about scores, showing complacency, lack of chemistry, and Laila unable to get a word in. No change there then. Except it is the rumba this weekend though - expect balletic moves from Anton, lots of lines, no hip movement to speak of, and no passion. Bottom two. Please?

"Nothing like a snog in the back of a banger"

So said Tuffers in a riposte to Len. Well, Tuffers, if you need a volunteer - I am there for you - anytime, any place, anywhere. Just let me know!

Back to Blackpool (how perfect for a snog in the back of a banger! I digress)and James Jordan, once again showing us his talent as a backstage reporter. I would have liked a little more from the studio manager on the logistics of getting it all together (but as we have already established, I am a logistics geek), but still - 10km of cable (you see, there are the facts that I love!); hoisting chandeliers and glitter ball into THAT ceiling! WOW. I have seen so many comments on internet boards about the sound quality on Saturday - but get a grip people! BBC TV centre has state of the art technology - the guys on the OB had whatever they remembered to ship up the M6 (or whatever M it is to get to Blackpool).

I so loved the fact that Ricky G found a little place to take a sneaky peak at the audience sitting waiting and all the celebs were there having a secret gawk! How many times have I done just that - skulked backstage to listen and spy on the audience, get a feel for how they are, whether it is a full house, do I know anyone in the front row....Of course I would be better off warming up and taking some deep breaths, but that is not part of the fun!

So to Craig and Flav - I still cannot decide. Is he deadpan, is he deluded, or is he a donkey? I am just deciding the former on the basis of the backstage comments from the dancers, and feeling that maybe his humour was not best showcased by the format of SCD. But then he commented, in direct contradiction to Flavia, that there was always hope for improvement. He really hasn't ever watched any of the playbacks has he? And there was Flav, barely able to disguise her relief at no longer being the subject of judge scorn or public piss taking/pity! She still has a career, yay!

Oh my goodness, who is that all dressed up as a Blackpool stick of rock? Oh it is newly mellow Craig R-H....So he would have us believe that he sees more that he likes this series. Really. More than series 4 or 5? Show me where please, because really, I am feeling the void....And what was Len doing, defending Alesha's comments? Has he been told to keep the velvet gloves firmly on?

So to my Cat and the Kat....I really thought that this week was the week he would break away from the pack but it was not to be. So glad to hear Katya admit that it went so much better in rehearsal, and Tuffers admit to being self-conscious. But the hope is still there. He admits to having a buzz such as he has not had since leaving cricket. It may be too little too late, and Team Cola could pip him to the place in the final, but I think he could be quarter final/semi final material yet.

The American Smooth is just around the corner, and he will surely get up the leaderboard on this. And Katya has finally figured that in our wonderful country of "support the underdog at all costs", she has a better chance of going places with Tuffers in SCD, than she would have had with Antonio Banderas!. She is doing humour now, and she set him up with a perfectly nice punch line about his unreliability for making catches. Ok the timing was off Katya, which is worrying for a dancer, but you too are going on a journey, with the most unlikely of companions!

So t'internet has gone into meltdown and there is one phrase repeated over and over again.

"We've had to put up with Arlene leaving SCD and now we have to endure Alesha as a judge". Well, quite. (More of that later).

So last night we had fireworks, Catherine Wheels, rockets, sparklers, Jack in the Boxes and a damp squib. Strictly arrived at the Tower Ballroom Blackpool and pulled out all the stops. Now that is what I call a showstopper. 8 weeks in, the contestants reduced by half, and finally we have an unmissable show.

It was worth all the expense, time, resources and sheer hassle of relocating to Blackpool, and my inner geek wants a whole ITT devoted to the master planner behind the scenes of this spectacular! Ballroom's spiritual home proved just what a real ballroom venue can provide that a TV studio can't; the audience cheerfully screamed their throats sore, and clapped their hands raw; and all the performers absolutely rose to the occasion.

I noticed the first mistake with the logistics the minute Tess walked down the stairs though. Poor dear, someone left her costume in London, so wardrobe had to assemble a montage of carefully dyed crepe bandages and curtain material to hide the embarrassment.

Adonis and Blonde Ambition kicked off the show with a turbo-charged tango. It was good to see them (at long last) dance first, and it was a good effort. It was never going to beat last week's quickstep, and a better music choice could have allowed for more light and shade, and an overall more dramatic feel to the dance. The judges all helpfully overlooked the errors though and indulged in the first bit of over-marking of the programme.

NatCass and the Italian Stallion. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if Rachel or Louisa had had a personality like Natalie. I think they would have romped home with the trophy. Natalie gets Vincent and gives as good as she gets. "This could be the best quickstep". "It could be. You could be six foot tall".

Great VT to usher in a pretty good effort at the quickstep. The choreography was amazingly difficult, and Natalie kept up well. For a vertically-challenged couple, they covered the massive floor brilliantly. But I think Vincent needs to bear in mind Natalie's physical stamina. Like last week's Jive, they started off like a bat out of hell, filled the floor with energy and enthusiasm, and then about 40 seconds into the routine, Natalie visibily wilted. Even the smile was gone, and for about 20 seconds she looked as though she were clinging on for dear life. Then she got her joie de vivre back, even to the extent of a comedy ending, directly channelling Tess, with a wooden flop into Vincent's arms, arms and leg akimbo. (Please tell me it was done with irony?).

Long Jump Jade and Long Tall Ian. I simply cannot work out what the producers are doing with her. One minute she is competitive, stroppy Jade, the expendable female for the shock exit; the next she is journey Jade, the dark horse for the final. This week she was journey Jade, for the second week running. Last week the VT was get out the granny vote; this week it was get out the kid vote for Role Model Jade.

There was a moment of shock when I realised that Jade was the second victim of wardrobe leaving a suitcase in London, but they had cobbled together a swimming costume and sarong as a last minute stand in, and made it up to her with the best sparkly eye shadow of the night.

The Jive and Ian is normally a cue for the "tall girls can't do this dance" spiel from Len, but this dance needed a different script from him. Jade mixed femininity and athleticism in just the right measure, only losing it towards the end when she took to executing her flicks as if she were booting a football into touch. I put it down to excitement. Please let Jade and Ian make the final!

Barbie and Ken treated us to a swirling, sweeping, swooning fairy tale of a Viennese Waltz. Her arms and leg lines were exquisite, she actually forgot she was PC Ali from the Bill and gave into the music and her partner and gave us a performance. My eyes filled up, and I am sure they will every time I watch this dance back. Even Craig got swept away with the emotion of the dance and the performance and dusted off his 10 paddle. Full house and well deserved.

It was always going to be hard to follow this performance, and Ricky and Erin were up against it. They gave it their best, pleased the crowd, and got slated by the judges, who were perhaps reflecting on whether it was too early in the series to give out the first perfect 40, and wanted to revert back to business as usual with the next couple. It wasn't their finest hour, and I would have liked to have seen more hip action, less mouth action. But having said that, Ricky proved that his timing has improved no end in the long opening side to side section, and that his musicality is getting there. I would have thought that the VT, getting out the Big Guns, (Austin Healy, please will you marry me?) would have guaranteed a free pass to next week, but it was not to be.

Smarm and Charm had the best costumes of the night, and Laila has possibly the best paso skirt action of any female celeb that I have seen. But the music was laboured, the routine was safe, Laila's spins were shaky and she looked uncomfortable out of hold, there was no connection with the audience, and there were two illegal lifts. Anton seemed to get off rather lightly with this by indulging in a bit of banter with Len (so we remember what happens when Brendan plays the illegal lift card? Or Matt Cutler and Carol Smillie did a throw in the AS and were slated for it? Well, here there were no prawnheads, no doughnuts, no outrage - just a benign smile. Favouritism, perchance? Or was it just that Laila had established herself as the weakest female in the competition, so no-one was particularly bothered?)

Tuffers and the Kanadian Kat were up next, and a great VT set them up nicely for next week. Katya even played the "My mum is coming to visit next week" card. But stop, this is getting ridiculous! They left Katya's costume in London as well and the poor thing had to dance in her undies and some carefully draped net curtains. Good job they go so rarely to Blackpool! Phil has some really nice lines, and really used his arms and legs well. He had the wrong character throughout though and reminded me of Sid James telegraphing to the audience that he was about to cop a feel of Barbara Windsor. Bruce accidentally contributed to the Carry On Rumba feel by asking us all whether "The cat has done his business?". I put it down to excitement. The judges proceeded to slate it, but they know that we know that they know that the Cat is going to be slinking through for a few rounds yet.

Team Cola!!! If the red tops are correct, then Team Cola are leading in the public vote and are in no threat of going out before December. And so they should be when Ola gives such fab soundbites as "My little Chris done a great job" in her perfectly charming mixture of Polish cum East Kent accent. Sadly, as far as the boyfriend was concerned, wardrobe had remembered Ola's costume, so she did not have to dance in her underwear and some candy floss. Possibly the measure of Ola's confidence in Chris was the fact that she was the most covered up I have ever seen her. His bum needs to come in, he needs to stop singing (but then I would have been singing along to that track as well), but the boy has done it. He has broken away from the mid table and staked his claim (justified now) to be snapping at the heels of leaders.

So to the Blackpool Bandwagon. Well there was some cunning choreography (particularly the section where Flavia had him on his knees for 20 seconds and danced around him); there was some cunning camera work (the aerial look hid a multitude of sins). But ultimately, it was the weakest dance of the night.

I felt he did deserve credit for actually going out and performing and interacting with the audience for once, but it was not to be. Len tried hard to soften the blow, but then Alesha decided to take herself out of the running for next year's SCD LIVE ON AIR!! IN BLACKPOOL! BIGGEST RATINGS TO DATE! (Alesha, my dear, you have been sweet, but you are supposed to tell the producers behind closed doors, not tell the audience like this).

So this is what she actually said "I can't believe Zoe went and I had to endure that". Swiftly followed by "You are not as good a dancer as you think you are". Badly done, Alesha, badly done. You were brought in to soften the panel and empathise with the contestants and what they are going through, no? Well that was more vindictive and personal and subjective than anything I have heard from any of the other judges, and if Craig had stayed it would have been on your head!

So followed an agonising wait for the dance off. Were we in for a shock exit (not Jade! Please not Jade!). On the one hand, the judges had assembled the first sensible leaderboard of the series, with no ties (hardly difficult when you are scoring 9 couples and giving out marks between 17 and 40). This meant that Ricky and Craig really were in bottom position with 1 and 2 points apiece and needed a big volte face in the public vote. But then again, the producers had given Craig the prime slot (dancing last, just as the phone lines opened) and the judges had all but gifted him a place in next week's show.

My nails were about to be bitten to the quick, but several things happened.

The chanderliers came down and the eight professional couples did a beautiful group Viennese Waltz. The Tower Ballroom floor was filled with gorgeous dresses, gorgeous dancing, all in complete harmony.

Then we had a group swing jive and were promised two special guests. Who could they be? And there she was! Back in her spiritual home, with her partner, dancing her dance.....JILL HALFPENNY!!!! Woo hoo! SCD's best ever winner (yeah, sod those stats you keep shoving down our throats about Alesha, Rachel and Lisa, see that girl go). Looking better and dancing better than ever, St Jill of the Halfpenny Jive, you looked as though that was where you truly belong, partnering Darren, dancing alongside Lilia and Aliona, and the Kings of the Jive themselves, Brendan and the Divine Mr Cutler. Eat your heart out, somebody else who I used to rather like a lot!

Then up came the second special guest. Mr Bruce Forsythe himself. And say what you will about him, if I still have that ability to perform when I am 60, leave alone 82, I will be on top of the world. So many people who have been to the live shows say that Bruce is brilliant live and that we just don't get the measure of the man from the recordings. Well in front of an audience that big, he radiated joy and happiness and stage presence, and really pulled it out of the bag. You are my favourite, Bruce.

Then we had another crooner, with an amazonian beauty in a very small dress (wardrobe again! Another dress left behind, so they had had to fit Penny Lancaster into Kristina's dress!). The dance wasn't great, but diddy Matt looked cute, as did diddy Rod Stewart.

And the moment of truth. Well at least Erin didn't lose her hair this time, and the right person, eventually, got the coach home.

Free the Cacace One!

The campaign starts here! Flav looks so very unhappy with her clearly delusional partner. So stop voting for her now, and free her to do professional dances and snog Matt di Angelo.

So we are all off to the seaside (did you know? Had you heard that SCD was coming live from Blackpool tomorrow? Did you know that Tom Chambers got married last series? Seriously The Powers That Be should try harder to tell us these things). Pack your bucket and spade, marvel at the donkeys (that is you Craig, and Craig and Bruno), get horribly drunk, flash your knickers and cry into your last glass of wine. Sounds like an average Saturday night to me, nothing special about this Blackpool malarkey!

So to the serious stuff, Ricky and Erin first. What a great interview. Ricky grateful for the public support and feeling bad for Zoe and James. Erin giving credit to the public and pointing out that the public have to respect the judges' scores, so therefore the judges should respect the public opinion. Can they pull it off this weekend though? The salsa could raise the rafters, but could it also be a Bonfire Night damp squib?

So who will be in the dance off this weekend? Is it possible for Craig to dodge the bullet once again? Quite possibly, if there are enough ties on the leaderboard, and the public feel sentimental about his blackpool sojourn. (Although Flavia, are you sure about the music choice? Easy Lover for a cha cha - you really are desperate to get voted out, aren't you, even at the expense of bringing up memories of your season 5 love triangle).

Are Ricky and Laila due a trip to the dance off? I would say Laila has got away with it for two weeks running and is living on borrowed time, and that Paso is not looking good. Will Ricky's popularity plummet in the week that he and his girlfriend split, and he dances the passionate tango? Will Ricky actually get to dance at the disadvantageous first position (which he is well due)? Time will tell.

And it is also time that one of my beloved mid tablers broke rank and started the challenge for a final place. And on the small training clip tonight - the shrewd game player may just do it. The arms are looking good, so are the hips, so is the attitude - Tuffers ...you might just get a sniff at that glitterball! What better week to pull it out of the bag than the week you get to perform in front of 1,000 dance fans at the Tower Ballroom. Finely judged, Tuffers, finely judged.

And as for James Jordan - who knew? What a good presenter (interviewing/listening skills need brushing up, but still). Anton, my love, the rug has been pulled out from under this year - Karen, Erin (with her humour), Matt on Strictly Confidential, Darren and Lilia and now James....a lot of pros with a lot of follow on career potential. Go for it James!